Wednesday, November 2, 2011

White Blank Page

It's been some time since my last post. For several months I had been trying to finish all of my images for my website. I was actually really close to being ready to put them up but recently I lost/got my laptop and external hard drive (with the only finished versions of my images) stolen. So, now I'm having to start all over. While, I was a little (okay, a lot!) depressed several weeks ago, I am feeling a lot more positive now. I have finally begun re-editing all of the images that are important for my collection. I am even finding images I had previously overlooked to be fairly good, which is kind of neat. I have purchased a new laptop with the help of many of my friends/acquaintances/family members/even teachers and staff at school. It still surprises me that people can be so generous. I am so grateful for everyone's help. Really, if it weren't for them, I would still be moping around feeling sorry for myself.

Self Portrait

Self portraits are kind of strange to me because I always feel vain taking them, but on the other hand, it's always been a way to document how I am feeling at any particular moment. Some people write in journals, but I can't express myself in words. I'm a very visual person. But not just in the act of taking the image, but also in how I edit them. The last few weeks have been very confusing for me. I had never, in my life, felt so much lacking in artistic drive. I've always thought of myself as someone who has to continue working on art all the time to stay happy, it never really mattered what the medium was. So, when I realized all the time I had spent editing those images, images I no longer had copies of, I just felt so upset. It seemed like such a waste of time. Why make art if you can't show it to anyone? While I enjoyed every moment of taking and editing those images, it's also just very difficult to see them go. but they are gone now. I have tried to make my peace with that. I am trying to look at it with a different perspective. I now have a chance to actually go through my images again, and edit them the right way, a way that's very cohesive. The image above will be apart of my self portrait series. I am feeling proactive.